TheTop10Everything.com

No, really. I've been to those exhibitions of Rubens and what have you, full of fat chicks with cellulite all over their asses and posing coyly so all you get to see is a butt and a nipple silhouette.

While people seem to think that most models are just ditzy airheads, it is actually an amazingly tough career to break into. So, there are certain steps you can take to try and secure your way into this insanely cut-throat industry. Obviously, I didn't have to do any of these things, but we can't all be me.

I've never been on a blind date, obviously, that would just be too pathetic. However, I have several fat and unattractive friends (who naturally I keep around to cheer me up when i feel bloated), bless their hearts, who go on them all the time. And the stories I hear! As far as I can tell, these are the ten best ways to get away from that awful little troll who passed himself off as a six foot adonis in the personals column in the back of the local newspaper...

I've never had a problem finding a date, obviously, but some of my plainer and fatter friends have. And because I'm terribly generous and good natured, I've decided to share some new world dating tips that my plainer and fatter friends have shared with me.

Let's face it, we all want to look our best. But without continuous and rigorous dieting, it's never going to happen. Of course, I am utterly stunning, but that's because I've got some little dieting tricks up my sleeve, which I will now share with you.

I just think voting is so important, but it's difficult to know who to vote for. Here's my criteria: