I'm proud to have the right to vote, but none of 'em left-wing sissies have anything worth voting for, I don't reckon. Here's what I'd be happy with.
- Gun laws. Everyone over the age of ten should have a shooter, you gotta learn to protect yourself from the democrats, communists and them religious oddballs. My little boy could shoot before he was walking.
- Voting. Only people who believe in democracy should be allowed to vote. Them commie democrats should be strucken from the record. The republicans could do fine things if they weren't repressed by all them screaming communists.
- Hippies. What do you think we have gun laws FOR? WHY can't we shoot them?
- Mandatory membership to the NRA from birth. If you get 'em young, you can teach 'em right.
- Schooling. I dropped out when I was fifteen and look at how I turned out! Stop namby-pambying the little s**ts and get 'em out there into the real world or the military. School's a damn waste of money.
- Environment. I should be able to dig up and chop down anything I want if it helps me. Like I said, the hippies have ruined it for everyone. I'll chop 'em down if they come near the place.
- Gun laws. If it comes near my house I can shoot it.
- Football. More on TV. And none of that "soccer". They might call it football in them heathen countries, but it's nothing like football to me.
- Women. Seen and not heard. SEEN AND NOT HEARD, MARY LOU!!.
- Look, none of 'em have policies good enough for me. I'm thinking of forming a right wing splinter group. They're all college sissies and none of 'em truly understand my issues.
