Feeling those creative juices flowing? Well be careful, too much of that can be just embarrassing...
- Aquarius: Pottery may be your chosen night course for next week when you're taking up a hobby after leaving your ex, but watch out - those electric pottery wheels can be dangerous around loose hippie clothes.
- Pisces: Just because it sounded great while you were really drunk doesn't mean that a) you're an undiscovered musical talent, or b) you should immediately try and get yourself recorded.
- Aries: Wear a little black dress to the gallery opening - a jealous mistress of your husband will try to douse you in red wine.
- Taurus: Mosaicking is boring, and it's not a good way to meet interesting people to enliven your dull life. You could go to an accountancy convention and meet more interesting people.
- Gemini: Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's art. Don't buy from galleries where the curators resemble used car salesmen. It's usually a give away...
- Cancer: People who tell you that knitting isn't an art form are just jealous. One day, those hats and sweaters and scarves may make you rich...
- Leo: Surround yourself with artistic, creative, dynamic people this week. One of them will surely kill your husband for you. He really is that annoying, and that way you don't have to do the time.
- Virgo: You may think the hallucinogens are increasing your artistic power, but actually, everybody's laughing at you. It's okay, they'll start taking you seriously in a week or so when they check you into rehab.
- Libra: Make wise investments - just because the pretty girl at the gallery SAYS it's nice and going to be worth a mint in five years doesn't mean it is...
- Scorpio: The watercolour your grandmother left you is worth a lot of money. Have it appraised today and you can go on that holiday to Greece.
Sagittarius and Capricorn: Your new house paint is toxic. Get out now, and send in the building inspectors and a good lawyer.
