I am, as I'm sure you're all aware by now, a deeply creative person. And I have so much artistic potential that hopefully, by the time I'm twenty five, I'll be famous not just for my art that is poetry, but also my visual art. I'll give you some tasters.
- The tattoo I gave myself in ninth grade, using a compass and biro ink. Of course, I hit an artery and had to go to hospital, and they all called it a cry for attention and I got stitches, but I consider that scar to be a testament to my dedication to my art.
- The photos I took of myself, blew them up to poster size, and then mutilated the faces. It's like, really really meaningful to me. It's about my self destructive tendencies, and how nobody understands me, and other deep things.
- The naked pictures I took of my girlfriend. They are all like, grainy and black and white, and really erotic, and they must be art because her parents totally disapprove and for it to be art it has to be incredibly controversial, right?
- The structure that I made out of wax, feathers, fingernail clippings, and old hat, cardboard, beetroot cans, a knife, and a barbie doll with its head ripped off. It's like, really meaningful, about myself and how nobody understands me. My fascist parents told me it was rubbish and made me take it to my room. That's okay, they like, proved the art, and made it more powerful, you know?
- The time I deliberately provoked Daniel Watson into a fight so he blacked out both eyes and broke my nose, and I just, like, stood there. It was a really, really powerful non violent statement. Then I got my girlfriend to take photos of it, and refused medical treatment. Heaps of girls were really into me that week.
- My promiscuity and acceptance of my girlfriend's promiscuity. We like, make really powerful sexual statements all the time, by photographing each other getting with girls at parties. It's a really powerful rejection of bourgeois values. And all my friends tell me it's really hot that my girlfriend gets with other girls, but they're just immature. And probably jealous. They don't understand that we're just, you know, making a really powerful and mature artistic statement?
- Labelling the jar I keep my appendix in with a pathology lab sticker that one of my friends, like, stole for me from a lab, which was really cool, "a broken soul". Think about it. Deep.
- My poetry. It's really, really deep, as you guys would know. I'm definitely breaking new ground, artistically.
- I haven't actually made one yet, but I'm definitely thinking that my flair for poetry could work within the medium of a short film? I could make it really, really amazing. I have heaps of ideas, like Tarrantino but obviously better.
- My piercings. My nose, eyebrow, and ear piercings are all really, really powerful anti establishment statements. I'd get a Prince Albert, but I don't think they'll use anesthetic so I'm worried it'll hurt.
