Technology. What a crass and bloody awful thing. Gone are the days of hand-crafted snuff-boxes, teak wooden things carved by talented peasants, and undisputed rulership over the uneducated masses. Now there's all this guff about technology liberating people, technology, the great equaliser, technology, where we all get heard. It makes me feel quite ill, and as though I need to be looked after by one of those bloody ignorant girls who doesn't work for me anymore because she ran off and got a job in IT.
- Buying titles. Just a short time ago in our illustrious history (not in America, obviously, but then they're *snort* egalitarian), people got titles the proper way. They were born into them, or they performed some dazzling feat. They didn't just buy them off the internet. Disgusting. And the money they use isn't proper, old money. It's probably horrid, new, technology money.
- Buying an education. I'm not against the idea of the rich becoming educated, not at all. In fact, they are the only ones who SHOULD be educated, because they have to rule the great unwashed. No, what I resent is that now, any lower class Tom, Dick or Larry can by a university degree for low, low prices. Or worse, they can get into our practically free education system and buy their essays off the internet. Next thing you know, they'll depose the queen and we'll all be communists!
- Buying antiques. Once again, these are things that should be passed down through the generations, or that the rich should squabble over at deceased estate auctions. NOT that the commoners should be able to get their filthy little paws all over on some "internet auction" website. These new rich have no business trying to be like us!
- Writing dictionaries. "Wikipedia". Awful. Thousands of plebs, all stuffing their opinions and lack of knowledge into dictionaries, encyclopedias, and other documents that were once sacred and actually meant something. Now we are raising a generation of children who think that no only are all the things on the internet TRUE, but that their opinion matters enough that THEY CAN WRITE THESE THINGS TOO!
- Writing laws. In that disgraceful nation New Zealand, who think they're all very progressive with their female prime minister and their disdain for the commonwealth, they actually created a "wiki" to which the public could contribute for their new police act law reforms! Lord! I think I need a lie down.
- Looking at things that are sacred. I am not a prudish individual; I enjoy looking at an artistically exposed buttock or buxom nipple peeking coyly out as much as the next man, but these pleasures of the flesh are meant only for the discerning and healthy upper class male, with the appropriate breeding and education. Allowing just anybody to look at the sort of filth I've seen on the internet is simply begging for a peasant uprising!
- "Chatting". As far as I'm concerned, communication should be written in proper ink, on individualised, watermarked paper, with wax seals on the envelope. Once again, the uneducated are now allowed to communicate with each other, with complete disregard for spelling, punctuation, intellect and breeding.
- Reading indiscriminately. If the proletariat are ever going to take over, it will be because of the so called technological revolution. Luckily they are all so apathetic that hopefully, they just won't notice all of that awful, seditious literature on the internet about equality and so forth.
- Becoming respected citizens. With every idiot educated and buying antique furniture left right and centre, is it any wonder that there are so many people squabbling for their rights to be recognised? Most of these new moneyed people are disgustingly plebeian, and wouldn't know a good port if it bit them on the behind. But they think they can learn, but LOOKING ON THE INTERNET. Soon I won't know who to have over for dinner, unless I ask for pedigree papers at the door.
- Equality. The upshot of all of the points I have just made is this. Unless we are very careful, the gentried and well bred classes of this world will die out - or be over run by disgusting new money. Bah. Why am I even bothering? Since this is going on the god forsaken internet, it will probably only be read by plebeians anyway. THAT'S RIGHT, PLEBEIAN - I'M TALKING TO YOU.
