There are many reasons I would rather spend all my time with computers than people. Let me give you some insight into why.
- People get offended if you forget their names, or have to consult a list in order to remember them. Get over it. Like I care what any of your names are anyway. If there's one thing I can't stand it's getting into the office at seven am after four hours sleep and having some ugly generic man in a suit have a sad because I forgot if his name was Bill or Ben.
- Taking it to an even more ridiculous level, people get offended if you forget their spouses and children's names! I mean, who CARES? I don't get offended when colleagues don't ask after my family members. In fact, I'd prefer they didn't talk to me at all.
- When you work with people, you are also expected to remember things that are going on in their sad, mundane little lives. Like painting the kitchen, refurbishing the lounge, procreating. I like to go home and WOW, but I don't insist on sharing that with everyone in the kitchenette.
- Computers don't try and crack really stupid jokes every time they walk past your cubicle, just to try and increase your "team player" mentality. If a computer is telling a joke, that's because you've just commanded it to.
- Computers also don't try and crack onto you, just for fun. How many times can I make plain that I DON'T want to date ANY of the losers in the office? I'm surprised most of them have an IQ allowing them to breathe...
- Computers don't try to FORCE you to go to useless, mundane, time destroying "team building" lunches at the pub, where everybody gets drunk and redfaced and even more boring than ususal - a difficult task I know, but not insurmountable.
- Computers don't make snide remarks if they think you're spending too much time alone... like I want to haing out with any of those people!
- Computers don't make snide remarks like "how's your love life, snicker snicker?". What business is it of theirs?
- Sitting with a device containing a computer on the bus on the way home is infinitely preferable to sitting with a work colleague, listening to what they're going to cook their awful spouse for dinner.
- I hate people. More than anything. Do I need any more reasons?
