Like, people reckon that being unemployed is all, like, laying around and relaxing and doing nothing. That is, like, a total lie. I have to work, like, super hard to maintain this lifestyle.
- If you aren't, like, super on to it, you'll get cut off your dole. Like, if you forget to hand in your form, that's it, you're cut off for like, two weeks. So you have to make sure you open the mail (a TOTAL drag, unless you're filling out bogus credit card applications to make the time go quicker as well), AND fill in the form, AND THEN HAND IT IN. All by a certain date. So, like, fascist.
- With filling in the form? They like, want to know what jobs you've applied for recently. So if you haven't managed to apply for any lately, like me, because, like, I'm so busy being on the dole, then you have to make stuff up. And it's not as easy as it sounds. You have to like, think of somewhere you haven't used lately, and, like, write down a name and phonenumber or whatever...
- You have to remember to post the form back on like, the right day so it gets there on time. That is, like, REALLY HARD. Because if it's late, they like, cut you off. So you have to like, really, really pay attention to what day it is.
- If you like, stuff up and have an appointment with them, then you have to be there ON TIME. And sometimes that's like, nine or ten am. I know, it's just fascist. Who is up at that hour on a week day, seriously?
- Okay, so like, if you forget to go to your appointment, you have to have, like, a doctor's certificate. And so you have to like, go to the doctor, try and like, FAKE AN ILLNESS... and most of those doctors are like, pretty smart... and then take the certificate to the dole office. That can take like a whole day!
- Sometimes you have to go in for a seminar, just to like, show how hard you are looking for work. And that means you have to like, not smoke pot that day, because THEY CAN TELL. Which makes me like, totally edgy, and puts my whole sense of self out for days. It's like, totally hard work.
- Ahhh... what were we talking about again?
- Sometimes, you have to do, like, volunteer work or work for the dole or whatever? And that is like, ACTUAL WORK. So like, you can't say I don't DO anything on the dole. And do you, like, KNOW how had it is to sneak out for buckets when you have some guy staring at you all the time when you're supposed to be cleaning trash off the beach? It's REALLY HARD.
- If you skip one of those things, because they make them, like, so challenging? Then like, sometimes they cut off your payment. Which means you can't afford the essentials, like pizza. Which means you probably have to call your mom to bring you some food, or worse, go and VISIT her. I think I'd rather get a job.
- Oh, and like, if you have no money, and you are supposed to be meeting friends for like, beer or whatever? You have to get them to buy. And seriously, being that nice to them is like, seriously hard work.
