I am a really soulful and deep person, and even though any girl I date has to be really deep and soulful as well, or else we just don't mesh, they still can't grasp all the complexities and multi-facets within my personality. That's cool. I'm an amazingly complex person. Basically I'm providing this list because while there couldn't possibly be anyone more complex than me, if you are dating a guy who is even slightly sensitive, you may well need to understand one of the following things:
- Sometimes I like my alone time, even when we're together. Okay, so, sometimes, my girlfriend gets really pissed because when were out together sometimes I just, like, have to recede deep into my personal space because I'm so overwhelmed by my own deepness. It's a serious thing that I need to do, to keep myself from tipping over the edge. And no, it's NOT because I'm staring at other girls.
- Just because I could afford to buy her a present, doesn't mean I don't need a new cd that COULD be the inspiration for like, a BOOK of my poetry more. Seriously. We need to prioritise here, and while I love my girlfriend, she has to understand that poetry is my first, and most important, love.
- When I'm feeling introspective, sometimes I want to talk about it to other girls. Some of my best friends are girls, and there isn't space for a jealousy trip in my girlfriend's head. It's not that I don't love her anymore, it's just sometimes, I need to feel appreciated by other girls, and frankly, I'm an artist. I need to share my art with others. And if that leads somewhere sometimes? That's just how artists work.
- I don't want to meet the family. That is, like, the most torturous thing you could do to me. I'm not going to inflict my middle class fascist family onto you, so unless you have a cool young emo single mom who can help me with my poetry, I'm just not interested.
- My tattoo is personal. Like, I have this really intricate tattoo, and the message written in it is so deep, sometimes it makes me cry. But don't get pissed off if I won't tell you the symbolism of the ancient Chinese characters. They are uniquely for me.
- I don't want to be offered a tissue if I'm crying. Sometimes, I get overcome by emotion, because I'm a really deep person. But seriously, handkerchiefs and tissues really ruin the look of someone who is pensively, deeply, and thoughtfully crying tears for the world. So just let me cry. I've practiced it in front of the mirror enough to not let the snot drip, okay?
- Flowers, chocolates, movies, jewelery, cards etc are just corporate conspiracies to make us spend more money. I'm not going to spend shit on my girlfriend just so the establishment can wax fat. So that's why a date to the park is just as valid, especially if I planned which park beforehand and put the effort in to buy her a bus ticket.
- Music is incredibly important to me. I'm willing to dump a girl if they don't like the same bands and artists as me. It's about integrity, you know? Sure, I like some quirky and unique things, but if the girl is right for me, she'll get that.
- My family suck, and there is no reason to interact with them. No really. We can hang out in my room with the door locked, but I'm just not interested in revealing the complete lack of understanding and stupid natures of my immediate family. I was probably adopted anyway. So don't ask, and don't ever accept a dinner invitation.
- I don't always have time to hear about YOUR pain, which is nowhere near as intense as mine. Look, I am a really, really, deep and tortured individual. I'd go so far as to say misunderstood genius. And if Van Gogh had been forced to listen to his girlfriend bang on about how misunderstood she is, he would never have got to dwell on HIS pain, and produce a shitload of art. I need support, not to be weighed down with other people's issues.
