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Look, I know you're all going to mock me about prune juice and boiled eggs

Sometimes, you just can't be arsed getting up off the couch. Make that most of the time. And not enough food manufacturers take this into consideration when coming up with meals. So here is a comprehesive account of the best takeout or eat in meals for those of us who just can't stop watching xfiles repeats.

Planning the right soiree can be tiresome, with the help being so utterly plebeian and the guests just itching for the opportunity to cut you down behind your back at brunch in the morning. So you have to be at the top of your game.

What you put into your body is just so important. Here's what you should all be eating this week to maintain a healthy and loving spiritual alignment with the universe.

On top of having the world conspire against me, my 'family' try to engage me and my siblings in some ridiculous charade of playing happy families around the dinner table, at the pain of being grounded, so we can all 'share' about our days. So f*****g pointless.

Let's face it, we all want to look our best. But without continuous and rigorous dieting, it's never going to happen. Of course, I am utterly stunning, but that's because I've got some little dieting tricks up my sleeve, which I will now share with you.

What kind of communist doesn't know that red meat is the life-blood that keeps our society from falling apart? The worst kind of communist. A pinko-vego-hippie-scum. And how can you identify this breed of freak, so you can make sure that if one is seen at your local abattoir "protesting" they can be shot or set on fire, is pretty easy. Some of these un-American weaklings can be pretty devious about disguising themselves, but here are
the things to look for:

This fortnight's topic is food, glorious food. While this is a huge and general topic, our bloggers have handled it with their usual flair and personality. Enjoy!
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